Upbringing: Can you really like one child more than another?

Mama's darling Is it okay to like one child more than another?

There are few no-gos in parenting, but that's not possible: our author thinks that you should never say that a child is the favourite. By Viola Kaiser

This text first appeared here on brigitte.de.

When a distant acquaintance recently said that her favorite was one of her four children, a chill ran down my spine. Thinking that is a bit nasty, but somehow understandable. (Especially when one or two of the youngsters tend to keep beating each other or throwing themselves on the floor in front of the supermarket checkout when there is no lollipop - and another one is not).

Saying the whole thing publicly, on the other hand, I find really, really antisocial. Personally, I believe that mothers are allowed to do almost anything: drink, think bad things, and be lazy from time to time. That's why nobody has to have a bad conscience. But saying out loud that you have a favorite child is even beyond my limits.

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Better to lie!

Not because I don't understand that mothers sometimes go nuts, but because I feel sorry for the others, no matter what asshole children they are. It just really sucks when you know that even your mother might love you, but she still thinks others are better. I don't think you really get rid of that for the rest of your life. In fact, studies on the subject say that the less popular are at higher risk of having lower self-esteem, depression, and anxiety disorders.

Doesn't surprise me one bit. I'm basically for honesty, but in this case you should lie really well. Of course there may be a favorite among multiple mothers, of course we are all only human, but this is where the performance has to be right. Even if you have to lie to do it - or just keep your mouth shut. Unfortunately there is no alternative.

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equality for all

There is also another possibility: maybe you really like all children just the same. Sometimes the one less, sometimes the other more, but basically the same amount, just different, because every person is different. Equality at all levels, so to speak. After all, it never did any harm.

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