Mamablog - Why don't men wear heels?

Sometimes a child's questions present the next best opportunity to expand their worldview. Photo: Aymors.com

"You, Mom, why don't men actually wear click-clack shoes?" my daughter asked me recently when we were walking home from after-school care and a woman in elegant heels came towards us.

My daughter admires all kinds of high-heeled shoes, which she affectionately calls "click-clack shoes". She adores the chic kicks so much that I had to put my couple of pretty click-clack models up to an unreachable height to protect them from her greedy fingers.

And I think it's one of the unsolved mysteries of her universe that her mother slips into worn-out sneakers every day, even though she has the incredible ability to strap increased happiness around her feet. When she then explains her aesthetic ignorance with the words "comfortable" and "practical", her daughter gives her the same disgusted look that otherwise only spinach on her plate can trigger.

"Maaama, why don't men wear click-clack shoes?" my daughter repeated her question impatiently. My brain started to race instead of simply asking the child what SHE thinks, why, and if that's really the case.

"Because that's the way it is, child"

My brain, which was overburdened after a strenuous day, would have preferred to answer the question in the manner of our grandparents' generation - with a simple "Because that's the way it is, child". And in the best-case scenario, there would have been silence in the box.

But such an answer - not only undifferentiated, but also hair-raisingly wrong in 2019 - naturally did not come out of my politically correct mouth. Not only would the child's curiosity, which is so important, have been suppressed, I would also have had by the way – fie! – Stereotypes cemented and fringe groups discriminated against.

After all, there are also transvestites and transsexuals in our multi-layered society, who definitely have male and trans-click-clicks. So daughter's question did offer THE opportunity to weave these people into her world view. I would have also contributed to the well-being of her later love relationships (if they were heterosexual) by choosing words as carefully as possible, by teaching her that men should also live their feminine sides.

The complexity of our world

Although, to be honest, I would probably have to swallow a lot more than just empty if my husband were to present himself to me with high-heeled shoes one day. So would it be better to simply tell the child that a woman is not beautiful when she wears high heels, but when she feels comfortable in her own skin? And that in life anyway and mainly the inner values ​​are important and that it is by no means desirable to define oneself too much by one's appearance?

"Mom, tell me now, why don't men wear click-clack shoes?" came the voice, slowly getting visibly unnerved, fifty centimeters below me.

But the complexity of our world and my futile attempt to find words for it had just knocked me into the ground that I wanted to lie on it, look at the clouds and never talk about click-clack for another second -loose men would have thought.

And so I didn't even manage to say: "Because that's the way it is, child!", but silently stroked my daughter's head - but in a very politically correct way.

Sabine Sommer lives in Zurich with her husband and two children, works as a clerk and writes her novel whenever normal madness allows. And if not, then even more so. After all, life offers the best stories in precisely those moments.